Thoughts, Training Log Until March 21 2010

I haven't written in a while; not enough time.

Thoughts:

1) Living in the fast lane, stress can either bounce off of you like a slab of concrete, or deliver blast through you, like a slab of concrete. Usually for me it was more of the former, but yesterday it as certainly like the latter, due to multiple stressors finally getting into me.

I need to keep my legendary temper in check: I think I punched the wall almost 10 times yesterday, hard enough to make people notice. The skin at my knuckles aren't hyperpigmented because of hemochromatosis, you know.

2) My aunt got operated for a "ruptured" appendicitis, but the operation was laparoscopic, so it shouldn't have been too bad. Get a good rest Umi Dah.

3) So far I'm finding that I need to do a lot more to get myself ready for Pro, especially now that the date has been pushed forward. And I can't enter the wards to boot. But with the current schedule and stress levels, I'm not sure how I'll manage to fill the hours in. With my current "intellectual abilities" I'm guessing that just 1 hour to study O&G and another to study for Pro consistently every day would suffice. Another would be to study 1 1/2 hours for Pro (which I've not started on my own yet, only group study), and depend 100% on bedside teachings and other "classes" (including on call sessions with 3rd years) to prepare for O&G (which was exactly what I did for internal medicine, and still got me no 2 in the group). We'll see which path I follow, which depends a lot on how well I cope with the stress.

But I want another distinction, for O&G and Pro. I want the money from the MMA award (though I haven't registered as an MMA member. 1K will help out a lot, especially with the internal drama in the family (not just Abah's illness).

4) Speaking of Abah, he has been talking a lot more, which is good. This morning he also started trying to regularly walk without his walking stick. But there's a lot more training required especially regarding his speech, and dealing with his upper limb spasms while doing ROM exercises are very difficult: too soft and you won't be able to extend the elbows & fingers at all, and too hard and Abah will be in pain. But he's laughing more, and interacting better with guests, who are still coming non-stop during the weekends.

Thanks for the support.

5) Next week is Naufal's wedding, the wedding of a person I can truly refer to as a best friend. Congratulations. Hopefully I'll be able to come over, unlike the so many I've missed lately.

6) Some people have it so easy: you'd God damned better be grateful.

Training (writer's block setting in):

The b-ball underground tourney is less than a month away, and what is hopefully going to be a special day is another 3 months away. It's probably time to reel in the diet, get a good more cardio in, and hopefully still increase if not maintain strength while shedding some fat. People don't care how healthy you actually are, just as long as you meet others' interpretations.

Videos are up on my Youtube page. But one thing is for certain: my pullup strength sucks, and I'm very unhappy about it.

Thoughts, Training Log Until Feb 7 2009

I had no internet last week, so all this are two weeks' thoughts into 1. The first "set" was what was supposed to be the blog for 2 weeks before (already typed halfway but not finished then). The second "set" will be for last week.

Chapter 1
Thoughts:
1. Abah has just been discharged from the ward. Turned out that he had hospital-acquired pneumonia (which Umi didn't know) and just a normal stress reaction (after we asked for a referral to rule out depression). He can only say a few words, most consistently Allah (just upgraded to Allah Akbar yesterday), Sarah once, Aida (ex-student) once. Not once did he say Ah (Umi) or Amir/Adib. Maybe some torture can get the words out, hehe.

Upper limbs are 1-2/5 for power, lower limbs are 2-4 (depending on the joint). We've managed to get him to walk with a stick from the car into the house, with support to prevent him from falling. But at the fastest, it's a 15 minute trip, with help. The problem though is with upper limb exercises, which is not as easy to stimulate than the lower limb exercises.

2. He has also been having problems with urinary retention. He is currently passing urine only once a day, about 700 mls. His bladder was definitely palpable. Tactile stimulation failed, and only long-term heat stimulation with warm water worked. Unfortunately, Abah hates the thermal stimulation, and would scold us because of the "temperature shock". The anger is more evident when bathing him. Fortunately there's no constipation.

3. Taking care of Abah has been very difficult for the whole family. As of last week Umi still couldn't work, taking care of Abah with Adib. She is now on half salary. My girlfriend still had to send my lil sis to and from school. Last week my grandparents stayed at home, alleviating much of the domestic stress. We are now going to try hyperbaric oxygen therapy for about 10 sessions. Each session costs about RM200, with the costs divided among Abah's siblings.


Nevertheless, logistics at the moment is still a nightmare. Umi needs to work, but without me around, there's no one who can help Abah move about the house alone (who weighs almost 80 kg). I was also strong enough to handle supporting Abah in the bathroom, and pick him up to standing position after he slipped from the sofa and sat on the floor. To move him around requires 2 people otherwise (Umi and Adib). The same number is also required to get him into the car, as unfortunately the two cars at home have high seats (Harrier and Rav-4). 1 person to pull Abah onto the seat, another to lift up his knees. My "suggestion" to use the Iswara was quickly shot down (a joke of course). Abah's colloeagues are planning on aksing UKM what can be done to help with the situation.


4. It is still cruicial to get him independent as fast as possible, which is why I've been millitaristic with his lower limb physio. At home, I've been forcing Abah to stand up despite his protests, and walk to and fro when possible. Abah tends to ignore Umi's suggestions to stand, and Adib is more of an enabler, keeping Abah in the "sick role". With him independent, there'll be no problems for Umi to resume working. But without intensive training, when that can happen is unclear. Speech therapy at home is also a big problem, as I don't know how to force him to keep on trying to speak.


5. I have a jinx with the HUKM elevators, always breaking down when I want to use them. And so I was forced to climb up 7 flights of stairs to bring the wheelchair to Abah when he was discharged, a challenge I relished and had no problems. It was unfortunate for the little 8 year old kid who tagged along to help bring the belongings to the car. He was wobbly from the 5th floor onwards.


Conclusion: I may be fat, but I'm fatter than a skinny 8-year old. And those who ridiculed my aims to be stronger (rather than purely bodybuilding purposes), now you have an answer as to its advantages.


Training:
Max week.

Good mornings - up to 66 kg x 16
Back squats - up to 78 kg x 16
Weighted pushups - up to BW+20 kg x 17
Standing DB presses - up to 40 lb x 16


My wrist has been getting better, with 50%1RM for deadlifts, bench and military press (empty bar) all painless. Penlay rows up to sets with 95 lb also went well. This week I'll try progressing and retesting the state of my wrists, working to hopefully 95%1RM.


Cardio last week consisted of barbell complexes, followed by sprints and light treadmill intervals. They were, um, killer. It was needed, considering that there'll be an underground b-ball tourney involving the old IIUM team. Think 4 games a day.

Chapter 2
Thoughts:
1) Abah can walk a bit faster now, but his hands are only flickering, still. I'm trying to aggressively train his hands, but it's difficult as it requires him to move and hold on to objects. You can't train the upper limbs properly while on the sofa. Otherwise I've kept with the grip training using a cup to give him sensory feedback about his movements. Due to the lead-pipe rigidity of his elbow, I've been pushing to have mobility work in his arms as frequent as possible to prevent a fixed flexion deformity. He can lift his legs up onto the bed now, and the headaches are less frequent. He'd still have giddiness on standing though. "Medically", there's no ankle clonus, although there's some "toe clonus" when I extend and dorsiflex the toes/ankle.

As regards to his speech, there has been no improvement, except when he accidentally pee'd in his pants (he couldn't go quick enough to the toilet, and he couldn't tell us he wanted to go). He mentioned "kain" (referring to the sarong) when he wanted us to help get him to the toilet in a different manner. Other than for that ordeal, the wheelchair is not used at home, as I was adamant on getting him to walk.

He no longer has urinary retention (no more need to use temperature stimulation), but he's consitipated, with no bowel opening in a week. Since tactile stimuli didn't work, we've started trying small amounts of laxatives. So far still no improvement. The amount probably needs to be increased further. I'm not too worried (yet) as he doesn't complain of abdominal pain/fever.

2) Despite cutting my training to only 3 days at most of trainining I still can't cope with the fatigue of going back home every week, even when taking the bus. In fact taking the bus probably makes it worse, as it gives me sacral pain. I leave the bus feeling more tired than before entering it. And since I have no small luggage bags, I end up having to lift the bag wherever I go to. At best I look clumsy doing that. The only advantage of taking the bus is that it's cheaper, and there's no danger if I doze off.

Even though before this I was also someone who wakes up late, it's even worse now. Either I feel fucking miserable when I wake up, or I wake up severely late. Both not a fun option. And the fatigue lasts the whole week. I hate mental fatigue.

It's now 10 weekends straight of going back home (interrupted by the weekend before exams) and counting. I still haven't started studying for internal medicine, depending on just the knowledge gained during year 3. And let's not get started on the issue of assignments...

3) I had 2 what the fuck moments with the telco's last week.

The first was with Celcom for my mobile internet, when it took a fucking 20 minutes call and another 40 minutes consultation at their shop just to figure out that my SIM card was defect. Come on, when I told you it worked before, the problem is not with using the wrong settings on my computer, morons. Okay, so the differential was a problem with the modem, but 40 minutes? Seriously? At the very least you could've made free the RM5 replacement fee to repay for the insane unproductivity and horrible problem solving.

The second was with DiGi, as regards to my old mobile internet account. When I terminated my old account, they did not bring up the fees due for the half month when I did terminate it. And so what did they do? They decided to ask for the fee via an annoying call (in the middle of Dr Zain's class) with a menacing tone and threats. All for RM58. Take the money and shove it in your throat DiGi.

4) I find that stupidity has a bimodal distribution: high among the poor, but also very high among the rich. After the Bollywood love saga last week, there's no denying the truth.

5) On another note, how come I only knew about it when the pot was literally boiling? I guess I've become more and more detached with my surroundings.

6) Added with with my problems with my car (battery is now officially RIP'd) and family finances (Abah's credit bills still need to be paid, which I have to do as Umi needs to care for Abah), there's reallly too much in my head. At least Abah still has full salary while Umi has to request for half pay. No offense to Wahida (all the best for her therapy), but I think I need a "long-term" break just as well just to get a hold on my bearings, at least mentally.

Training:
I had a severe lack of time last week. My wrists feels better. But I broke my old PR's. Enough said. With a just recently injured wrist (2 months is recent in the soft tissue calendar). And so 1 gym session (strength) and 1 at home was all I could muster.

Deadlift - 140 kg x 1 (10 kg PR)
MP - 60 kg x 1 (6 kg PR)
Fat-man pullups - Back to the lowermost level, but pain at rep 5. If there is no pain this week with 5 reps, I'll retry inverted rows, with the stability ball, and see if there's pain.

Since I couldn't go to the gym again, I tested my wrist by doing pushups at home:
5 x 10 puhsups, back to back with 5 x 10 bodyweight pushups, using the palms instead of the fists as before. No pain. More of a conditioning than strength type of work.

If things go right I'll reduce the weight and up the weights again. But I'm not sure when I'll restart doing pullups. Maybe I'll try negatives once inverted rows with the stability ball becomes painless for at least 8 reps, or if I'm able to do again Penlay rows up to 165 lb x 10 as before.

Wha...?

The Pistons are sometimes so overconfident of themselves it drives me mad!