Thoughts, Training Log Up to Jan 17, 2010

I'm typing this while Shahril drives the car...(Racing) Thoughts:

1) I'm just exhausted, and not even the 1 week break after psychiatry posting has been enough. So many things to do and think about, so little time, and even less cash. I'm weary of driving almost every week, arriving late at night/early morning. With fatigue from the gym, the tiredness is felt in the form of soreness. With mental fatigue/sleep deprivation the tiredness is felt in a sense of never having enough sleep, and an inability to think. It's worse. And it's really bad when not even caffeine can help you stay awake during the normal hours.

2) Abah got warded again, with possible Broca involvement; nevertheless the doc's said that there are no new lesions. The problem with his condition is that his symptoms fluctuate; one moment he's fine, another and he feels "blank" and can't speak, with right shoulder weakness (compared with predominantly lower limb involvement last time). He looks depressed at the times when he can't articulate complex things. He can still say simple sentences slowly when he enters "relapse". During brief "remission" periods, he's the same as premorbidly.

3) When you're a medical student, the fact that you can't look at the case notes is distressing. Appreciate the opportunity when you could look at it. At least I could ask for the figures in the investigations from the kind nurses at Wad Warga HUKM.

4) Due to the fact that Umi is caring for Abah, there's no one to take care of the younger siblings. Umi just asked my future wife to help out, bringing Sarah to school for at least the next 2 days, and might even have to sleep over at the house in Bangi. Talk about "kahwin sebelum nikah" ("married before solemnization"). At least she'll be able to use the car instead of the motorcycle.

5) Being the first son and grandchild (on my mother's side) to hopefully get married means that the "lavishness" of the plans is out of proportion to um, me. If it was up to me, I'd be wearing my old Camel shoes, without socks of course. I'm a simple man. And the hantaran would be books of course, my preference being historical non-fiction.

6) A rational discussion will beat rhetoric every time, but it will never win the votes.

Training:

My wrist feels good, Abe is stronger than ever, and Coax can actually paint his house without shoulder pain!

I'll still be using alternative exercises in place while I transition my training to that before I injured my wrists.

Monday - Good mornings, up to 60 kg x 8

Tuesday - Standing DB presses, up to 30 lb x 16

Thursday - Combined 2 sessions, in view of having to go back during the weekend. Squats up to 63 kg x 12, pushups up to bodyweight + 45 lb (plate) x 12. Had a hypoglycemic event afterwards.

Since my wrist is getting better, I'll start empty bar work so that I can hope to lift much heavier weights next month.

Training Log - Up to August 29 2009 & Lotsa Miscellanea

Last week was very fun. An exam which I was confident of passing & had a small hope of getting a D, followed by a body-racking max effort week, along with study group sessions, all in the month of Ramadhan.

Training:

Due to exams, I did a Tue-Wed-Fri-Sat schedule.

Deadlift: Broke my old PR of 120 kg. Did an attempt at 130 kg with a hook grip, which I failed, followed by an attempt with a mixed grip, which was good. Made an attempt at 140 kg, but with a hook grip, and failed after 2 attempts. I'm starting to think that I might need to use a mixed grip for all of my maximal deadlifts, and use the hook grip for anything less than 95% of my max (so that I still get a good grip workout). Nevertheless, the good 130 kg deadlift pulled my right pec, and screwed up the next day's session.

Bench Press: I screwed up a bit here. The pulled pec made it worse. I worked my way up to 75 kg, breaking my old PR of 70 kg (without spotter). Then I screwed up my attempts at 80 kg 2 times, both barely breaking my chest. Since breaking the chest is probably my weak link compared to locking out, I'll start adding pushup iso holds at the bottom position in my subsequent cycles, along with rollover pushups. If I'm more masochistic than that I'll do with with added weight too, and make the rollover pushups paused.

Front Squat: I decided not to try and reach a PR here. After rethinking the previous 2 days of lifts, I decided to only break 1 PR in a 2-day span. Here I went for reps with 72 kg. Got 4 reps, of which the last two I had to really grind out when coming out of the hole. And on the last rep, I got the bar to jump out a bit, followed by a nasty land on the shoulders holding it. Ouch, with a bruise. But I'm still progressing towards my "good form max" for my back squat, so I'm happy with it.

Standing Shoulder Press: PR breaking session. Here my focus was on a "good form max" rather than a "before complete failure" max. Worked my way up to 45 kg, which was more than my previous "good form max" (42 kg). Then went for 50, then 55 kg, all pretty good. I stopped there.

In the process, I added 1 kg of weight, consistent with my mini-bulk during max effort week. Nothing to worry much, and I'll probably go back to normal within this week. I initially decided on a complete deload, but I might be changing that to some GPP and bodyweight exercise work. Here's my planned schedule:

M0n-Wed-Fri: Bodyweight stuff (pushups, chinups, plank sequences, bodyweight squats, alternating reverse lunges)

Tue-Thu: Dumbbell circuits (DB clean & jerks, snatches)

Nothing heavy, just active rest for the week, with my main aim just to improve stamina, so minimal rest at best between exercises.

For the 2 weeks after break before Raya, I'll do my planned 2 weeks of Heavy-Med, followed by my typical cycle of Heavy-Med-Max-Deload, + Bodyweight circuit week (which incidentally falls during exam week with no break). These are the parameters I'll use throughout surgery (no weight progression, only rep progression is the aim). Unless I'm feeling lucky, there'll be no attempts at breaking PR's. The numbers in parenthesis are my latest PR's.

Thoughts (very much simplified) On the Recent Exams:

For the first time, I'm harboring some hopes for getting a D, ironically in the subject I hate most: pediatrics. All the pieces were there.

The MCQ was definitely passable, and there's a chance of getting good marks in my PMP as well, as I was familiar with both meningitis and dehydration (thank you, Dr Zain and Anaesthesiology posting). Despite feeling very confused during the initial clerking of my long case. I eventually did reach the diagnosis: acute gastritis with underlying nephrotic syndrome in remission, with rash secondary to food allergy. And the discussion went well with Dr Wahab, all the way to management, and a complete discussion regarding my provisional and differential, with no issues at all; I was finished in 5 minutes of discussion. The short case went well too, dealing with my old demons of Down Syndrome with cyanotic heart disease. The examination went well, and Dr Aye Aye had no issues with my unconventional diagnosis of Down Syndrome with VSD and secondary Eisenmenger; the majority of classical ToF patients don't survive until their teens in the Malaysian health care setting. And my signs supported that (PSM at LSE, radiating throughout precordium, with no pulmonary murmur/left parasternal heave).

Let's see. If I don't get one now, I guess I never will. But a thought always bothers me; I usually never try to go for distinction, despite always proclaiming that only the distinction students are the best medical students. Maybe deep down I know it's overrated, despite the fact that we medical students like to glorify students who get distinctions. Or maybe I like to provoke people into proclaiming that it's overrated, so that it acts like a good ego defense mechanism. I hope I've succeeded in confusing you. Are distinction students really the best students, or are they just lucky?

Post-Exam Break:

Now that I'm back home, I hope to reset my circadian rhythm properly. I've had my sleep screwed up with max effort lifting and fasting in the same month. I had to sleep about 8 hours just to function (not optimally function), with added caffeine during breaking fast. That's just fucked up physiology right there.

But there'll be no complete rest: on Thursday there'll be the AGM for the Medical Students Society (MSC). I'll be taking a bus for that to go back to Kuantan and back to KL, but I haven't yet arranged for my transport in Kuantan. On Saturday there'll be an iftar among SMSS batchmates, and my parents have given me the green light. And next posting is Surgery, which means clerking on Sunday. Hmph. And there's some minor stuff that I need to settle with Hospital Serdang.

Another issue that needs resolving is Ortho revision, however. I think for the next block more emphasis should be given to this particular subject, which is quickly slipping out of my (and probably the groupmates') hands. I'll probably start with the theory revisions, followed by examinations. Maybe we'll hire some 4th year students to teach 'em examinations.

Thoughts on Life and Other Stuff:

Speaking of AGM, I can't wait to step down. Seriously. Student politics is a hassle, but at least it's ok in the medical field, as people are fighting to not hold posts. But since nobody wants it, you're probably a Texan Lone Ranger if you're involved in it.

And I'm still slowly reading my newly bought book, SHAM: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless. And being the generally anti-motivation that I am, I can't help but agree with most of the book. I think most people who are "demotivated" need to "shut the fuck up, rethink, re-plan, and dig deep". Most people whine too much, never think in strategic terms, are haphazard in their problem solving approach, and just plain give up whenever there's a problem, cause they just don't try hard enough. I think we need to call strength athletes (powerlifters/strongmen/bodybuilders) to teach people how to approach life. Horrendous injuries, plateaus in training, busy schedules? Who gives a fuck? Dig deep, re-plan, and go at it again!

To all you "demotivated" people out there, have a read at this. And for your information, Matt Kroc is a single parent, works long hours, sleeps about 3 hours a day, and still busts his balls living. We have life very easy, sheesh. Reading people shouting problems regarding their puppy love makes me want to puke and throw an axe through their head. Especially when they tell the world about it through Facebook.

And I don't know why, but so many Malays love to make conspiracy theories about everything, including H1N1 being a Western-designed weapon of mass destruction. What, people who don't believe your assinine thoughts that swine flue isn't a weapon to destroy muslims aren't muslims? Stop your stupid speculating, start thinking in logical terms and live your life for God's sake. Speculating, theory-making, gossip-spreading, stop it. Stop thinking, and start doing. I don't care if the speculation ends up being true. The problem is that we're so caught up in it, that in the end we are not doing anything from overthinking things. Learn to live like Jim Wendler : "5/3/1 is all about simplicity. Get rid of all excess in life. The more you own, the more that owns you. Strip yourself of all things, of all the fat, and leave nothing but brain, muscles and cock. That is life." This advice applies whether you're religious, or secular, or an idealist, or a pragmatist, or just some lost 'ol regular Joe like me.

P.S.:

Min, if you read this: "Bile ko nak ajak aku ushar ko training kat gym? Muahahaha."

A Belated Response to "The Debate"

Heh, it was what you'd typically expect from politicians; only an average amount of facts and proper argumentation, and too much personal sniping.

The arguments from both sides were valid, and neither really came up on top to any signficant degree. However, Anwar's cool in deflecting and reflecting the sniping from Shabery made the government look very foolish on television indeed.

If you haven't watched it, do so for laughing at Shabery instead of learning anything really new about the facts regarding oil and the Malaysian economy in general.

Abdullah Badawi Surrounded by Hungry Falcons

It's good to see Malaysia in the news, especially the Economist: it means that the country is significant in a way. 

It's not good when the news is about Abdullah Badawi's struggles in holding on to power. It's a safe bet that he'll be gone in a year's time. Among those aiming to unseat him from UMNO are Ku Li and Najib. A remote possibility is seeing him replaced by Anwar Ibrahim, assuming at least mass UMNO defections from the Parliamentary Seats to the Alternative Front. The future of Malaysia will not be stable/assured as even during the 1999 period, at least until Pak Lah confirms his hold to power. But it's interesting nevertheless, as Malaysian politics is moving forward progressively to one that is more dynamic and balanced. This is despite the mainstream press being biased to the core, adequately compensated by internet news available to the Malaysian youth who are quickly becoming the majority of the Malaysian population.

Total disclaimer: I am against Najib as PM, regardless of who are the alternatives. This excerpt from the linked article says it best as to why:

Mr Najib, however, has challenges of his own: his political adviser and two officers from a police unit that reports to him are on trial for the murder of a Mongolian fashion model. Though not accused himself, Mr Najib's prospects may be fatally damaged by the case.

Read the comments too, as they're quite interesting as well.

Crap by Useless Political Commentators

"Er, the public voted the wrong people as they're immature and just voting for change."

"The people are too emotional, using votes against "incompetence"."

"Malaysians are not yet prepared for democracy, not believing in the system."

"Oh, they're just experimenting with new leaders, not thinking seriously."

What. The. Fuck.

Seriously, pro-government analysts (nothing on TV is neutral anyway) being sore losers makes the National Front look more and more stupid. Everything's right only if they're voted in. 

Nothing's wrong with competition, giving a sense of urgency in everyone to actually do something lest be kicked out with metal boots.

If I see these stupid commentators in real life I'll stick giant boomsticks into their ass, making them feel like anal pornstars. Lucky for them I so don't care about Malaysian politics, ensuring their safety (for the time being), and they'll just meet my rolling eye turning them into stone.

BN Does not Retain 2/3 Majority!

Oh my, I just noticed this when news googling up yesterday's elections.

Parliament is going to get fiery, but are they gonna argue about policy or about why Parliamentarians' coffee should be sweeter with whipped cream?

If the last term was any indication, a lot more crap is gonna be brought up in Parliament.

Kelantan is One Screwed State

No offense Kelantanese people, but Kelantan defines the word irony.

Anywhere you go, you'll see how divided the state is; the banners, the flags, the poster with interesting claims (all of them populist and not realistic in my opinion), and recently, the fight in the State Assembly. And UMNO and PAS are so polarized, and polarizing. Politics there is just as fierce as the Democrats vs Republicans, if not more. Yet Kelantan is easily among the poorest states in the country. Malay politics is ironic, but pitiful.