Stuff that Tickles My Mind by Other Students

We medical students are so funny in a disturbing way. At least to me. And I'm probably just as disturbingly "funny" to others as well. So don't be angry if you're in any way referenced.

1) "Hey, I'm still thinking about how you told me that being in a warm environment doesn't "burn" fat."

"Mm hm."

"So being in a cold environment "burns" fat."

"You could say it's something like that."

"Why do most people think it's the opposite?"

"Because most people don't want to think. Actually some do. Like the US Army. They've found out that in winter temperatures, daily energy expenditure of soldiers rises up to 40% more than normal."

"So that's a good thing right?"

(Eyes opened wide) "Hm? They have to eat more to compensate for the heat loss and avoid hypothermia. That's good?"

(I hope no physiologists read this.)

2) "I want to shape my muscles."

(Borrowing some words from Rippetoe) "There is only stronger or weaker. Bigger or smaller. Leaner or fatter. You can't shape your muscles."

(I hope no anatomists read this. And no, you can't shape your muscles. Well technically you can, but you'd look like an idiot, and it's technically still just getting "bigger".)

3) With many:

"Why do you go to the gym?"

"To get stronger while being reasonably fit."

"..Is there such a thing? ..The only reason people go to the gym is to get big, to bodybuild..What's the use of being stronger? Being stronger is not useful. Looking tough is."

"At least I can potentially carry my wife around. That's definitely useful and romantic."

4) On not taking carbs during lunch (usually):

"Oh my God, you're on the Atkins! Do you take any rice?"

"It depends, but I always take some carbohydrates during breakfast, usually a roti canai. And it's not Atkins. The moment I take no carbs at all for at least a week, not even these vegetables, then yeah it's Atkins."

"But it's not rice (the roti canai)!"

5) Or how about this about a year ago, "Hey I'm on a low carb day."

"So what'd you eat?"

"Noodles and bihun (mini-noodles)."

6) Asked by a lecturer to someone, "How do you know it's the testis?"

"We are able to elicit "testicular pain" when palpating it."

Obviously this person doesn't know the key to running away from a male murderer (and the severity of "testicular pain"): KICK HIS BALLS.

7) Female students' habit of not calling for a chaperone when examining a male person's hernia. Or a PR exam. Do they think that in comparison to female patients, male patients like exposing themselves to the opposite sex? Yeah some do, but the exception does not make the rule.